I Just Need a Hug

Hope

My dad is a person who always give a hug and kisses to his family member. Include me. After my dad passed away, I just realise if there is no more hug for about 2 years… I never get a hug from my mom, even on the night when my dad was died. Wow. My life just become so different, also my heart. I feel so empty, weak, and lonely.

The deep hug,  I already miss it so much. Hugging is kinda like a therapy, a powerful way to healing. Research shows that hugging is extremely effective at healing sickness, disease, loneliness, depression, anxiety and stress. When my dad give me a hug and kiss on my cheek or my forehead, suddenly it boost my energy. My emotions get stable, feels like everything bad, negative, and something block my heart just goes away. I feel free, I feel safe~

He is someone who really optimistic, I can feel that. I was. He was always stand by me, encouraged me, cheer me up, make me believe and make me sure if I can do anything. He was always think positive, said positive things and doing something positive in a positive way. For me, to get a hug right now is so impossible. Actually, I just really need a deep hug every morning before I go to campus. Or maybe once a week, it’s still okay. Better than none. Why? Because, that’s so important for me.

Lately, I cried easily. Become a weepy person is not always good. Even though have a soft heart is not a problem at all. I could easily cry just because someone yelling at me and I feel so bad on that time. After that, I blame myself. Or… in one night, I didn’t stop crying. I can’t stop it. It just hurting and I just want to cry, no reason why. Puffy eye bags in the morning for the bonus. Do you know Sasuke Ninja Warior Indonesia on MNCtv? (My dad was work on that tv station!) That tv show succeed to make me cry. I’m so moved when I saw the Indonesian army on there, especially when they do the yells group. Just don’t ask how it could happen. What’s wrong with me I do not know ¬.¬

So, I’m sure one thing that could make me stronger is a hug. But I don’t dare to ask that from my mom or my first younger sister. They must be thinking if I am so weird, or.. strange.. whatever. The only hug that I can get is from my last sister. I have two sister, but my last sister is not live with us. She is so far, about 228, 2 km away. She lived with our aunty. We can only met during the holidays. Haft.

I can’t force someone to do like what I want, to think like what I think, to speak like what I hope. Even when I can’t ask them to do something for me, I’m just prefer to pray for it. I believe in one day, there will be someone who always gimme a hug every day, after I wake up and before I fall asleep. Someone who will get my deepest hug and who will build something awesome together with me. We will strengthen each other and NO ONE CAN DESTROY US! HAHAHA so strong~

By the way, I prefer to choose a deep hug than a billion of rupias. *maybe

One day someone is going to hug you so tight. That all of your broken pieces will stick back toghether.

 

-Dhns

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