A Little Letter to My Little Sister

Bilingual, Friendship, Portfolio, Portofolio

UNFINISHED

            I was on the third semester in campus. That means a new college year which was my campus (also my department) got so many freshman. In the middle of the first semester, every department are conducting an activity that we called “Ta’aruf”. It’s a mandatory event for the freshman to know each other from their department better, and my generation was became the committee. This event was held for three days and two nights.

            Before that event held, as a senior we have heard a lot of news of the one two freshman.  And there’s one name with its story which more interesting for my generation also for me. There was a maa shaa Allah girl (and she is still ‘ma shaa Allah’ until right now), with her long khimar and gamis that makes her really look different from another girl on her generation. And about her story on that time, I just don’t let more people know that, so I’m not gonna tell you. She was exist enough on social media especially ask.fm, because of her da’wah to her followers.

            I don’t think if I’m gonna know this girl more than I thought. My first conversation was happened in Ta’aruf, with my first impression “Oh God she is so straight (to the point) person with a big spirit to share good things (da’wa)”. After that day, I forgot how we started to know each other and get into a deep conversation. Because I’m not the type of person who’s like to start a conversation and she was in the opposite of me, a professional conversation starter.

Lately, she told me if she was interested in me, because when Ta’aruf (especially when the committee introduce ourselves in the front) I also look diferent from another girl on my generation. I wear long khimar too and gamis with no make up, which that style of clothes was really rare on my department.

Unfortunately, a couple of months in the beginning, I was really not comfortable and I just can’t handle my actual respons of what she said on text. But I still kept it only for me, trying to understand what kind of person she was, became a really good listener (she might be need that) and just think if maybe I am wrong and this is my own problem to not really like her.

But as a new comer in my life, she successfully did a great things to impress me. That was February, where in that month our age is plus one in number. So we did the exchange gifts. I gave her a square pink khimar (she really loves pink), she gave me a two pairs of handsock and also some slice of black sticky rice cake (bolu ketan hitam) that she put on her Hello Kitty lunch box – which in the next day I accidentally broke it, sorry.

Dalam banyak waktu, kami sering berpapasan di jalan, ketika aku selesai kelas dan dia baru masuk kelas. Lalu kami berhenti sejenak dan duduk di teras Café Cangkir atau hanya berdiri di sana untuk bercerita, tepatnya untuk mendengarkan cerita barunya. Kami juga sering berbincang di chat room atau semacamnya. Dia menjadi anggota baru di Lembaga Dakwah Kampus yang saat itu aku menjadi salah satu pengurus di tingkat fakultas, kemudian dia yang bilang sedih ketika aku memutuskan untuk berhenti dari himpunan yang padahal aku bisa menemani dia.

Saat itu dia bercerita bahwa itu pertama kalinya dia menyukai seorang pria. Dimana rasa itu datang ketika dia berusaha menjadi dirinya yang lebih baik. Dia ingin pakai selembar kain itu, namun dia malu pada dirinya yang sekarang. Kemudian aku bilang, pakailah, pakailah semester depan. Aku juga ingin memakainya, namun aku belum bisa terus memakainya dalam waktu dekat. Akhirnya dia memakainya dan aku sangat senang.

Satu cerita yang paling aku suka dari kami adalah, ketika Lembaga Dakwah Kampus kami mengadakan lomba dalam rangka miladnya. Aku didaftarkan untuk ikut dalam lomba desain, sementara dia dalam lomba menulis essay. Kami telah mengirimkan karya kami. Pengumuman pemenang lomba dilakukan pada puncak acara milad, kami berangkat bersama, aku sangat membutuhkannya untuk menemaniku karena itu adalah hari pertama aku memakai selembar kain di wajah untuk acara seperti ini di organisasi ini. Kami sampai, kemudian duduk tepat di bangku tengah aula, sudah banyak yang hadir dan acara ini mengundang sebuah panti asuhan yang aku pikir mereka (anak-anak panti itu) akan takut pada kami, namun ternyata tidak. Hihihi. Mereka malah asik berdialog dengan kami dan penasaran.

Sampai pada sesi pengumuman lomba. Qodarullah untuk lomba Desain aku mendapat juara pertama. Dia memberiku selamat dan menjabat tanganku kemudian menyuruhku untuk segera kedepan menerima hadiah. Setelah aku kembali ke tempat aku duduk dan bahkan belum duduk, ternyata namanya juga dipanggil sebagai juara pertama lomba Essay. Kami berjabat tangan lagi dan gantian menyuruhnya untuk segera kedepan. Itu adalah menit-menit yang mendebarkan dan berlalu dengan cepat. Dengan begitu, berarti orang-orang sudah tahu identitas kami sekarang. Dan itu adalah pertama kalinya aku menjuarai lomba menggunakan selembar kain itu. Dua wanita dari fakultas dan jurusan yang sama dan sama-sama ‘tidak terlihat’, memenangkan juara satu pada lomba yang mereka ikuti untuk Komisariatnya.

In other times at our senior wedding reception, she taught me how to eat on public place wearing niqab. It was really hard, because you didn’t know where’s your mouth actually. That was also my first time to eat while wearing that. So we took a time little bit longer than the other, but that was fun.

Ah, and there’s still a lot of memories with her which could make this ‘Little Letter’ fail if I told you more. – Like when she’s trapped on my indekos because we forgot if Ibu kos will lock the fence on 10 pm, and we also forgot to buy some food for that night. So we made a plan to buy an Indomie, with asking kakek warung sebrang kosan dari balik pagar because pagarnya already locked. Dia yang mau keluar pintu kosan beli mienya tapi ternyata suddenly ada anak kosan saya di luar pagar, anak itu sedang menunggu ibu kosan untuk membukakan pagar sambil memperingatkan temanku ini untuk bersembunyi karena apabila ibu kosan tau ada penyelundup yang sebenarnya ‘terjebak’ dalam keadaan kelaparan di kosannya… Itu akan menjadi hal yang sangat buruk.

Akhirnya, aku yang keluar dan syukur pagar dibuka sebentar untuk anak tadi (yang ternyata kamar mereka itu di sebelah kamarku). So I asked ibu kosan to wait me for a minute, but she was don’t know who am I, because I never met her without my niqab before. Then, aku beli indomie dua bungkus di kakek dengan uang seratus ribu. Ternyata, itu membutuhkan waktu yang cukup panjang baginya untuk mengembalikan sisa uangku dengan mencarinya (padahal ada nominal cukup di dompetnya untuk kembalian) TT. Maa shaa Allah, kek. Sementara aku panik, takut ibu kosan menunggu terlalu lama sehingga bisa saja dia membuat keputusan-keputusan di luar kepala. And finally, mienya sudah terbeli dan kami memasaknya di kamar dengan magiccom dan pemanas air.–

The best thing of her is, she’s really care about people. No matter what. One time, my introvert side suddenly goes out when Muskomda (musyawarah komda dan pemilihan ketua) was held. I’m not preparing anything to stay include my mental, so I just hate everything on that time, I ran out of my social energy and I really need to go back to my kosan really soon before ibu kosan lock the fence. “I don’t want to stay on this place” I said to my self. This place is not comfy, also the people.

Because I still don’t have a smartphone, I use her phone to order the Grabbike.  But, sadly the driver couldn’t find the location. So I’m crying while all of the komda member doing the commission meeting, she looked at me. And she decided to drive me to my kosan, whereas she was one of the mas’ulah candidates. She did it, she is the best.

In other side, especially because she is sooo to the point person and will said the truth that came out from her mind straight away to the others. So that not infrequently made her got in trouble. And that thing, makes me feel if I need to always stay beside her to keep her from something bad that might be happened.

But, I failed.

To be continued.

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